Monday, July 14, 2008

Opinions Wanted

Okay, so I am going to pull a "Liza"..... I want to present a hypothetical dilemma and gather wisdom from the multitudes that browse my blog....
Roger and Gretchen are happy, rarely are there serious disagreements between them. Well for the last 6 months Gretchen has been working hard, looking forward to and dreaming about reaching one of her lifetime goals. Roger has been really supportive and encouraging to Gretchen all along. One day about a month ago, Roger finds out about an event that is also important, involving his family. He and Gretchen never really discussed the conflict of events until the dates were confirmed....today. Gretchen assumes that Roger realizes how important her event is and since she has been planning on it for so long she thinks that Roger and Tracy (their daughter) will be there to support her at her event. Roger feels like He and Gretchen and Tracy need to be home with family. What does Gretchen do? Does she throw a fit and insist Roger be there with her? Or does she try and be flexible and realize what is important to Roger?

Any thoughts?

13 comments:

Lauren Maley said...

Which of the two events can/will occur again? If the family event is one that won't happen again then I would put aside my goal till next year and participate in the family goal. If my goal can only happen this once then I would probably be a little more stubborn. Call me if you want me to clarify =) actually, just call me!!!

Andrea W. said...

Oh Kristin, I'm so sorry. I feel for all of you, er Roger and Gretchen and it's just so crappy it all has to be at the same time, cruel twist of fate! As a mother I've learned that all our families really care about are our kids. Maybe Rog and Gretchen could compromise and leave Tracy behind??? I don't know, this is a toughie.

Eliza said...

throw a fit, throw a fit, throw a fit! just kidding, that is probably what I would do because I am really good at that. And btw I am deeply flattered your going liza style, but you don't quite have it right, your still way too nice to your husband. ; ) secondly, wow that is tough and I'm presuming the conflict is what we had talked about at the bell women get together? If so it would just delay the get together just a day or two right? In that case I think the family would understand, especially if you did what andrea said and leave tracy, thats all they care about anyway, right? tough though, sorry that that is conflicting. crappy.

Cami said...

I think I'm with Lauren on this one. Or, I'd suck it up and do my own thing by myself and send hubby with kids to family event without me.

Ann-Marie said...

Frustrating. I wish I had advice. I end up giving in and giving up my goal way too often. I'm trying to work on that, but to be honest...don't know how. Good Luck.

ashley g. said...

My advice? Bag both and go to Disneyland. Can I come? ;)

Just kidden- I wish I were 'Dear Abby' on this one. Either way, I am totally happy to comiserate with you. Best of luck figuring out this one- I'm rooting for you!

cody+sara said...

Dang it! That's crappy~
I love the names in your hypothetical situation... If THAT makes the decision any easier! ;)

Although, it's hard having a huge goal like yours and attempting to plan a family around it... I'd have to say try to cram 'em both in, OR give in to him this year, hold it over his head the REST OF your lives, and make him owe you BIG.
I don't know what I'd do~ you're way nicer than me.
AND in the future could you adress your probs to "Dear SARA..." ?? THANKS! love your buns!

Paige said...

Um, I don't think I'm qualified to give advice. But I did miss Russ' closest cousin & my friends weddings to run the WBR. Does this make me a terrible person? Can I be Gretchen & get advice, too?!? Best of luck to Gretchen & Roger...

Layne and Kelly Nelson said...

Its hard to offer anything without knowing more about the goal and the family event, but I'm all about the lifetime goals. If Gretchen's family knows how much it means to her, they would probably want to empower her to find fulfillment in her life so she can be happy, rather than see something else stand in the way. Can the family thing be changed? Hopefully Gretchen and Roger will be able to talk through it and try to put themselves in each other's shoes.

erin sheely said...

these kind of things are the WORST. i'm sorry that these friends of yours...ended up in a tough spot. yeah...no advice, just love.

Ashley C. said...

about your dilema.... well you could always ditch both and come hang out with us. it certainly wont be as fulfilling as your goal-and we are in no way as cool as your inlaws/family... but it is always an option.
for real- we would love to hang out anytime. let us know....
good luck. i hate stuff like this. it is always so hard. glad to touch base in the blog world though!!

Adam said...

If it means that much to Gretchen then she should stick with her goal. Family will still be there after she conquers her goal. Lots of people set goals and make changes. It's all part of the process of self-discovery. Deciding on a goal or something that needs changing is the easy part. The hard part is all the work that goes into getting there. Any goal should be taken seriously and if it needs to be postponed for family, a date needs to be scheduled to see that goal through.
Supportive friends and family come in very handy for those decisive times and I'm sure Roger will love Gretchen no matter what she decides to do.

Wes and Jess said...

hey tanner, i found your blog and so I am going to comment! About the dilemma, does Roger really want to hear about a lifetime goal not achieved by Gretchen for the rest of his life?