Mom Vs. Nurse on the Topic of Croup

This last weekend didn't quite go as I'd planned! I had a meeting Thursday night in Salt Lake, My In-laws were kind enough to watch Maci while I was away....When we got home that night I noticed that she was a bit hoarse and started coughing a bit. No big deal. Friday morning when I woke up to go to the gym she had a fever and was really whiny and a little more lethargic than usual. Of course I couldn't take her to the daycare like that so we skipped the gym and spent most of the day at home, ran a couple of errands. She was really clingy and started to breathe really loudly in the afternoon along with a "barking" cough. I diagnosed her with Croup and began dosing her with Tylenol, pushing fluids and using the humidifier. When I went to work that night she was still clingy but was happy to be playing with her Aunts. Well, around 3:30 saturday morning a I got a call from my Mother-in-law with a screaming/barking/gasping Maci in the background. Apparently she hadn't slept much at all and was really struggling to breathe....especially when she was crying. She spiked another temp too. I left work and raced back to Farmington around 4:00 ( I haven't driven that fast since before I had Maci.....purposely). By the time I got there she had fallen asleep, so I laid her on my chest while she slept on and off for about 3 hours. When we woke up that morning she was working so hard to breathe that she couldn't suck on her binky, take a bottle or stop gasping. As a Nurse I always tell people that the only way I'm taking my kid to the ER is if they are losing a limb or turning blue.....and my sweet Maci was about there... so Taylor and Corey gave her a blessing (Tanner was out of town) and Kristen and I took her to PCMC. As I was into the ER the triage Nurse said to another Nurse "....get the Dr. quick, we have a really bad croup coming"....she could hear us before she saw us. After a couple doses of Racemic Epi (a drug that helps open airways), steroids and cool mist treatments she started to improve. We ended up having to stay the night because she wasn't doing as well as they hoped. So I called Tanner, he got on the next plane back from Texas and we spent that night listening to her breath. Neither of us had slept in the last 36 hours so it was long night. She did well enough that they released her Sunday morning around 11:00 am. Somehow we made it home and my sweet Mom came over and watched Maci while Tan and I slept....Where would I be without my Marmy and Mother-in-law? They are absolute angels! She is doing so much better...still coughing with fevers here and there but she is starting to act herself again. Crazy weekend!
Scary, emotional, draining, guilt-filled, tiring and a blur to be honest. On top of that, Sunday was the day of our Primary Program and I had to call the primary president and tell her that I coldn't be there. She was wonderfully understanding and supportive but it absolutely broke my heart not to be there after all the hard work....mine and the kids. I felt sooooo guilty and horrible about it.
After sleeping a bit and processing it all I realized and am reminded of several things....
-I am reminded once again that I am merely human....there is very little that I have control over.
-Family is what it's all about....the only thing that matters.
-I am truly blessed to be surrounded by friends, family and nieghbors. I am so grateful for the prayers and thoughts directed our way.
-It is so hard to be a Mom and a Nurse at the same time....I had a really hard time switching "hats"....as a nurse I was completely comfortable waiting to bring her to the ER...as a mom I was terrified and guilt-ridden.
-The power of the Priesthood is real, I am grateful to worthy priesthood holders in my life.
-Finally, Life happens.....sometimes you just have to go with it.